And now, for something completely different...

“Mom, I’m going to marry Usher.”

I have said these words, maybe more than once. My mom never bats an eyelash.

Probably because the chance that I will meet Usher in my lifetime, let alone fall in love with him is practically nonexistent. Maybe also because she knows that I would not actually be happy married to a man who is know for lyrics that objectify and demean women.

The truth that she never mentions is that he’s also from a different race from me. It’s fine when I’m joking about something that wouldn’t ever really happen. It’s something completely different if we are talking about something real. What would my parents say if I really did bring home a boy who was a different race than me?

I’ve asked them before. Answers are usually vague. It might have something to do with the fact that I’ve only ever brought home one guy before. It might have to do with the fact that I’m the oldest, so they’ve never dealt with a daughter or son moving towards marriage.

Here is what my mom says, “Marriage is hard when you come from the same cultural background. It would be even harder if it was with someone who was from a different cultural background. I would just make sure that you know what you are getting yourself into. Know what your cultural differences are.”

My dad adds, “I wouldn’t mind at all. I don’t care about race. I would want you to be aware that you’re going to have to deal with difficult interactions from other people.”

Sometimes, I think that there can be just as many cultural difference between people of the same race as there can be between those of different races. And there will always be people who judge your relationships. It might be more difficult, or the challenges may just be different. Regardless, my parents have both said that they would support me in my choice, no matter what the race of the man of my choosing.